Taking it All Back
by mcbailey
Summary: When a SAMCRO members sister comes looking for help she finds that and more. Jax/OC Now complete
1. Chapter 1

**Taking it all back**

_AU… I own nothing except for Teresa Mackenna and Emery Jonnie_

_This is set several months from where we are now in Season 2: Abel is back, Tara and Jax are expecting a baby but they are NOT together. Enjoy!_

"What the hell do you mean he left? I didn't think you, yeah fuck you too." Mac dropped her phone in the seat next to her rolling her eyes. "Now if I were my brother where would I go?" She drummed her fingers against the steering wheel before smiling.

"Now where are we going?" Mac looked over at her best friend Emery. "Hopefully to find my brother."

"Yeah I got that, with the running out of rehearsal, packing a bag and getting in the car. Where are we going to look for your brother? And where is home?"

"Where my brother is." Mac laughed looking at Emery's face.

"You are such a smart ass."

"Yeah yeah yeah." Mac turned the car towards Charming, turning up the music. She didn't know how Emery would react to the life of the MC. It wasn't for everyone, and sometimes it was violent and hateful. But she had to go to her brother, she couldn't tell anyone else. Not even her best friend.

When Mac passed the Welcome to Charming sign she saw several motorcycles in front of her at the gas station. She pulled in, quickly getting out checking their cuts. "Hey guys. I need some help."

"Sorry darlin' we are little busy tonight." Mac cut her eyes to the man that had answered. His blonde hair was pushed behind his ears.

"Sure I get it." She walked back to her car, pulling out quickly.

"What was that Jax?" Opie asked his best friend.

"We don't have time to get caught up in any more drama." Jax told him.

Mac turned on the main road again, driving into town looking for some clue as to where her brother would be. With a sigh she turned into the police station. Once she was parked she shook her friends shoulder. "Do you want to come in with me?"

"The police? You hate the police."

"I know are you coming?" When they left, Mac was clutching directions in her hand. They quickly drove to Teller-Morrow Garage.

"I didn't know he was a mechanic." Emery commented as they pulled into the parking lot. Mac shrugged parking the call. As she got out she looked down the line of motorcycles.

An older man wearing the same cut as the younger ones she saw on the outskirts of the town. "Can I help you darling'?"

"I'm looking for Matthew."

"Sorry honey no one here by that name." Mac took a deep breath, looking back again at the bikes. Piney took the time to study her, petite, shoulder length dark hair, alabaster skin, beautiful face that was now scowling.

"Look his bike is here, and I really need to see him."

"Mac?"

She turned with a smile on her face. "Matt!" Mac jogged over to him, wrapping her arms around him. He tightened his arms lifting her off the ground.

"What are you doing here?" Matt set her down, his hand cupping her face.

"I need to talk to you." She paused looking around seeing several more men had joined them outside. "In private."

"Koz who is that?"

"Come on." He tugged her to the group his arm firmly around her shoulders. "Clay this is my baby sister Mackenna. Mac this is Clay."

"I didn't know you had a sister man. Welcome sweetheart." Clay kissed her cheek waving them into the building.

"Matt we really need to talk." Mac told him, he nodded looking at Clay.

"Go in the chapel man, no one will bother you there." Kozik nodded leading his sister into the club house, closing the double doors behind them.

"What's going on Mac?"

"I need help."

"What happened?" Kozik studied her, finally noticing the fading bruise on her cheek, the hand print around her neck. "Who did that to you?"

Mac took a deep breath, standing up feeling caged in the closed room. "I was attacked, he raped me."

"Who Mac? I'll take care of it, I promise. You are safe here."

"That's good to hear Matt, but that's not why I came looking for you. I already took care of him."

"What do you mean you took care of him?" Kozik asked her, grabbing her arm turning her to face him. "Mac talk to me."

The door swung open neither of them realizing it. "I killed him."

"Who the hell is this Kozik?" Jax asked him closing the door.

"Why do you care, you're too busy right?"Mac asked him, turning her back on him. "Matt here is my new number. We need to finish this conversation in private." Mac handed him a slip of paper, stretching up to kiss his cheek.

"Mac wait we need to finish this now. Come on." Kozik pulled her out of the room, and down the hall and into his room locking the door. "Now talk."

Jax stood in the main room looking down the hall. He crossed his arms waiting for them to return. "Why are you scowling son? We have Abel back, and you are going to be a dad again." Jax sighed still looking down the hall.

"Who the hell is that anyway?"

"Kozik's sister. Said she needed to talk to him, in private. Why where you busting in there?" Clay asked him.

"I saw her earlier, said she needed some help. I recognized the car. I want answers." Jax responded looking down the hall when he heard the raised voices.

"It's between them son." Clay told him.

"He is family right?" Jax asked walking down the hall; he stopped outside Kozik's room. He could hear them arguing inside.

"Look I know okay!" Mac yelled at her brother. "But it's done, he's dead."

"Where's the body?" Kozik asked after sighing.

"In my trunk."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kozik asked running his hand over his hair. "Jesus Mac. Okay we'll take care of it. Come on." Kozik opened the door running into Jax. "Hey man I'll talk to you later okay?"

"No we talk now." Jax grabbed Mac's arm keeping her the room. She tried to shake him off, his fingers digging into her skin.

"Let go!" Mac tried again to shake his hand off jerking them further into the room.

"Not until I get some answers, like why are you going to help her get rid of a body?"

Mac swung her fist connecting solidly with his stomach. "Let go of me asshole." Jax released her in surprise, she pushed him away. "I don't have to answer your fucking questions."

"Mac, you don't but I do." Kozik told her, pulling her to his side. "He's my V.P. and I have to answer him."

She sighed looking at the other man before nodding. "Fine." She slammed the door before sitting on the bed.

"Jax Teller, my sister Mackenna Kozik. She was attacked and raped last month."

Jax swore standing in front of Mac. "I'm sorry darlin' I didn't know. We will take care of it."

"Why do you all fucking assume I need you to take care of it? I took care of it, he's dead." Mac told him, standing up from the bed.

"But the body?" Jax asked her, his hands on her shoulders.

"In my trunk, I didn't know where else to go."

"Why didn't you call the police?" Kozik asked her.

"Well I did. But that was in a different town. And when I saw him again in the crowd I panicked. I called the police, they didn't do anything. The next afternoon we were in a sound check when I saw him again. I left and when I was walking to my car he came up behind me. I reacted and shot him."

"The gun the guys say you came and got. Damn it Mac why didn't you tell them?"

"I was ashamed Matt. I didn't want to involve the guys unless I had to." Mac told him refusing to look at either man.

"I got him in my trunk and stopped long enough to get my stuff. Emery called me insisted she come with me."

"Does she know?"Jax asked pulling out a cigarette.

"No, I was only going to tell Kozik. And now you, so now what do we do?"

"Well, we go get rid of the body. Pull your car into the garage. Go get the van."Jax told Kozik, he nodded, stopping only to kiss Mac's cheek before walking out.

"You are safe here; we will take care of you."Jax told her.

"And like I told my brother. I don't need to be taken care of." Mac walked out leaving Jax staring after her.


	2. Chapter 2

Kozik held her hand as they pulled her into the main room with the rest of the guys. "We have to go take care of something." Jax told them motioning for Mac and Kozik to go in front of him.

"What's going on?" Clay questioned. Mac turned glaring at Jax.

"It's okay darlin'." Jax told her. "Everyone but SAMCRO out." The women left the room, only leaving the men looking at Jax questioningly. "This is Kozik's sister. She has a little issue we need to handle. She can explain while we are gone."

"What? I'm going with you!" Mac yelled starting for Jax.

"No. Your brother and I will take care of it."

"Fuck that. It's my problem and I'm going." Mac planted her hands on her hips looking up at Jax.

Jax stared down at her determined she was not going with them. "No."

"Yes!"

"ENOUGH." Clay's voice interrupted them. "You sound like bickering children. Jax, Koz go take care of the issue, Mac stay here." When Clay finished Jax grinned at her and turned to walk out. Mac scowled at her brother as he shrugged walking out with Jax. "Okay little girl time for you to talk."

"Screw you. I'm not telling you shit."

"HEY! I'm helping you out here. Come on." Clay grabbed her dragging her to the bar. "Sit. Prospect get her a drink. Don't fight it; my word is law in here."

Mac studied him for several minutes before sighing. She knew how it was, she always did but be damned if she liked it. "Fine, got a smoke?" Clay smiled handing her a pack, she shook out a cigarette lighting it before starting. "A month ago, after a party I was leaving when I was grabbed from behind. I recognized him from the show that night."

"Show? What show?" Tig questioned.

"My show, I'm a singer." Mac told them. "Anyway, the next thing I remember I am in a shit hole motel room, and he tied me to the bed. He never hid who he was. He raped me and I tried to fight back. Fucker choked me, kept hitting me until I passed out. When I woke up I was laying next to my car." Mac took a long drag of the cigarette, the acrid smoke filling her lungs.

"Damn. Did you go to the police?" Clay asked her.

"Yes, but they didn't take it seriously. The sister of SOA says she was raped; it didn't carry much weight with them. I tried to move past it. Well we were in San Francisco doing a local club when I saw him in the crowd. That night after the show, I called the detective who said he was in charge of my case. He said he would alert the local PD. So the next morning I called them, he never called." She ground out the cigarette and picked up her drink tossing it back.

"Jesus honey." Bobby commented. They all felt sorry for the girl. She did all the right things and the system failed her.

"Why didn't you call Koz?" Tig asked. "Tacoma would have tracked the guy down, taken care of it."

"I didn't want to involve my brother, or SOA. He told me a little about what was going on. Everyone had shit going on. I thought the police would handle it. When I saw him at the sound check yesterday I flipped out, I left. Walked off stage, left my manager and band standing there screaming at me to come back. When I was walking to my car, I felt him grab me. I shot him."

"Damn." Clay commented. "What happened next?"

"I got him in my trunk, went to my hotel and packed my shit. Emery called told me she was coming with me, and here I am. And you are all involved in exactly what I wanted to avoid."

"We take care of our own." Clay told her, his hand resting on her shoulder.

"Sweet sentiment too bad it isn't true. Where's Jax?" Tara asked from the doorway. "Who's this?"

"He's not here Tara. I'll tell him you came back." Opie told her.

"I'll wait. She's a little young don't you think?" Tara asked her hands resting on her swollen belly.

"Gemma's in the office if you want to wait for him there." Clay told her.

"No I just need Jax's child support check. So I'll wait here." Clay sighed, reaching back for his wallet pulling out a small stack of bills handing them to Opie.

"Here, that's for this week and next. Why don't you go home Tara." Opie handed her the money. Tara took it, her eyes locked on Mac.

"I'm Tara. And you are?"

"Mac." She didn't elaborate.

"So who are you going to fuck tonight?" Tara asked trying to get a rise out of the younger woman.

"Tara." Clay warned.

"No its okay."Mac stood up her hand on Clay's arm. "No one. I'm not an Old Lady; I'm not a crow eater or a sweet butt. So I don't know who shoved that stick up your ass, but it wasn't me."

"Stay away from Jax." Tara warned before turning to leave.

"Tara, there you are. I thought I saw your car." Gemma stepped in seeing Mac standing at the bar her hand on Clay's arm. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah beautiful, everything is fine. Why don't you walk Tara to her car and come back." Clay suggested. Gemma nodded leading Tara out of the room.

"Who the fuck was that?" Mac asked looking around.

"She was Jax's Old Lady." Opie simply explained. Gemma came back in with Emery in tow.

"I found her sitting in the parking lot."

"Emery, I'm sorry. I, well I forgot you were out there." Mac walked over to her friend.

"Yeah okay. So did you find your brother?"

"I did. Why don't we go get something to eat?" Emery nodded and Mac started to lead her out.

"I'll go with you." Opie volunteered, Chibs and Juice following them. Mac nodded knowing why they were really going. The group walked out, filing past Tara who sat in her car in the parking lot. "Mac why don't you ride with me."

Mac nodded knowing it was useless to argue. She climbed on Opie's bike her hands tight around his waist.

When they got back to the garage, the van was in the parking lot. Jax and Kozik were waiting for them. Mac walked up her eye brows raised.

"It's done." Kozik told her, pulling her to his side. "Where are you staying?"

"We hadn't picked a place yet." Mac told him.

"You'll stay with me. I have the extra room." Jax responded. He turned to walk to his bike. "You want a ride or follow me?"

Mac looked at her brother, he shrugged. "It's a safe place to stay for a couple days. How long are you staying?"

"I don't know. I doubt I will be welcomed back on the tour."

"Good, you will stay a while then." Kozik led her to her car, waving his hand for Emery to follow. "See you in the morning." He kissed her cheek closing the door.

"What just happened?" Emery questioned. "Seriously you have been nothing but cryptic for two days."

"You don't want to know."

"Well you better explain."

"Emery, I love you like a sister but just let it go okay?"

"No tell me what's going on. Or I'm leaving and I won't come back this time. I can't deal with this bullshit. Last month you holed up in your room for days, and then wouldn't be around anyone. And now you are just going to let them boss you around."

Mac listened to her, knowing she couldn't tell her, she wouldn't get the MC life. Or what happened. "Fine." She rolled down the window. "Matt!"

Kozik turned around jogging back to the car. "What's up?"

"Take Emery to the bus station."

"What? Mac!" Emery was shocked her friend wasn't going to tell her.

"No. I'm done with the threats of you leaving. Leave."

"I didn't mean it."

"I did, get the fuck out. I didn't ask you come with me. YOU insisted, not the other way around."

"Fine." Emery got out, pulling her bag out of the back seat. She was shocked when Mac rolled up the window, following the blonde out of the parking lot.

When Jax pulled into his driveway, he pointed for Mac to pull up beside him. "Come on." He took her bag from her hand leading her inside. "Neeta? It's just me."

Mac saw a black woman come down the hall, smiling at Jax. "Hey, he's down for the night. See you tomorrow." Jax nodded closing the door, locking it.

"Who's down for the night?" Mac questioned.

"My son, Abel." Jax led her down the hall opening the door to a guest room putting her bag on the bed.

"Thanks. You can leave now." Mac stood by the door waiting for him to leave. Jax stared at her for a minute but walking out. He turned to say goodnight but she closed the door in his face. He stared at the door his blood boiling.

Jax swung the door open, murder was in his eyes. Mac stood next to the bed in just her underwear. "Get the fuck out!" Mac told him, turning her back on him reaching for a shirt. Jax crossed the room, turning her around roughly.

"You ungrateful bitch." He ground out. Mac pushed at his chest, but Jax held firm. "I help you out, bring you to my home and you slam the door in my face." Mac didn't back down she pushed harder on Jax. They tumbled onto the bed as Jax turned. She was tucked under him when he opened his mouth to yell at her again when he noticed the flush of her cheeks, her mouth pursed. Her dark hair was spread over the pillow, her legs were parted cradling his waist, her hands pressed against his chest. But instead of yelling he lowered his mouth kissing her.

It was like touching match to dry kindling. Mac started to push him away, but his mouth was warm and his lips soft and insistent against hers. She fisted a hand in his shirt pulling him closer. Her other hand reaching between them, pushing up his shirt, he pulled back pulling it over his head. His lips raced down her neck, her back arching, Jax nipped at her nipples, tugging the buds between his teeth. He pulled back pushing his pants and underwear down his legs. Her hands were pushing down her panties and pulling him towards her. Jax entered her hard and fast. Mac's nails scored down his back, her hips meeting his thrust for thrust.

"Fuck you feel so good." Jax moaned, moving faster and deeper.

"Harder." Mac urged him. Their moans filled the room. Jax felt her tightening around him, as he emptied himself deep in her womb. He moved off of her, they were slick with sweat as they lay there panting. Mac looked over at him, studying him with heavy eyes.

"You shouldn't stare." Jax told her opening his eyes.

"Yeah, what's going to happen if I do?" Mac questioned. Jax smiled rolling on top of her again. "I still don't like you."

"Good, I don't like you either." Jax told her, already sinking deep inside of her again.

"As long as we understand each other."


	3. Chapter 3

Mac woke up feeling his arm pressing against her stomach. She wiggled away from him, trying to figure out why she had woken up. After spending hours fucking she should be dead to the world. A faint cry came from down the hall; she pulled on shorts and a cami, slipping out the door. Mac opened the door to see Abel crying in his crib. She walked over, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Hey little man, what's all the fussing for huh?" She picked him checking his diaper. She changed him quickly; she carried him down the hall, looking for the kitchen.

"Let's see what we can find okay?" Mac opened the cabinets, searching for what she needed to make a bottle. Jax woke up when he smelled coffee brewing, he pulled on the same clothes from last night stumbling down the hall to the kitchen.

"Morning."Jax grumbled, taking in the sight of Mac holding Abel, feeding him. "You didn't have to do that."

"It's okay. I heard him when I woke up." Mac pointed to the coffee pot. "It just finished." Jax nodded pouring two cups leaving one on the table beside her. Mac smiled as Abel finished, she put him in his high chair, picking up the cup. "Thanks." She walked out of the kitchen intent on showering.

When she reappeared 30 minutes later Jax was standing at the stove "God damnit! Mother fucker." He started waving his hand around, that's when she smelled the unmistakable burning of eggs. Mac giggled pushing him out of the way, putting the pan in the sink and turning on the faucet.

"Why don't you go get ready?" Mac suggested as she moved around the kitchen. Jax left wondering what exactly had changed since last night. When he came back his long blonde hair clubbed back he admired her ass as she sang to herself as she put French toast on two plates.

"What happened to the girl from last night?" Jax asked sitting at the table, after he picked up Abel.

"I got laid. Sex usually puts me in a good mood. Why you wanting to continue our inane fight?" Mac raised her eyebrow. Jax shook his head and picked up his fork. "Good me either, we can go back to hating each other later."

They ate in silence and Jax left her to put Abel down. When he came back she was swinging her hips singing along to the radio. He couldn't stop himself from grabbing her, and turning her to face him. "You look good enough to eat in those fucking jeans." Mac grinned and unbuckled his jeans her hands pushing them to the floor.

"What are you waiting for?" Jax laughed picking her up after stripping her jeans; he set her on the kitchen counter his dick found her hot and wet. It was hard and fast and left them breathless. Mac rested her head on Jax's shoulder. His hands moving over her again when the front door opened.

"Jax?" Tara called walking into the house.

"Shit." Jax said pulling way, dragging his pants up. "Sorry." Mac shrugged, hopping off the counter, putting her own jeans back on, turning back to the sink she was washing dishes when Tara walked into the kitchen.

"I went by the clubhouse yesterday." Tara told him, sitting down at the table.

"Yeah they told me." Jax answered, filling his cup again. Tara's eyes shifted to Mac, who had not turned around.

"I thought you said you weren't a croweater."

"And I told you I'm not. Jax was nice enough to offer me his guest room since my brother knows I don't want to stay in a room that reeks of pussy. If you will excuse me, I have to go meet Matt." She walked out of the kitchen leaving the separated couple to themselves.

Jax watched her walk down the hall. When she hurried past them minutes later she nodded to Jax, slipping out the front door. He sighed turning his attention back to the woman in front of him.

When Mac got to the clubhouse no one was up but it was a mess. She always felt better when she cleaned so after some searching, she started on the bar, her iPod turned up. When the guys started coming in they all stopped watching her clean. She was dressed in dark wash jeans that hugged her ass, a black cami, her dark hair swept up in loose curls held back by a clip. Her legs lengthen by the 4 inch boots she had on. But that's not why they stared; she was singing not noticing the crowd she was drawing.

_You used to hold the door for me, now you can't wait to leave_  
_You used to send flowers if you fucked up in my dreams_  
_I used to make you laugh with all the silly shit I did_  
_But now you roll your eyes and walk away and shake your head_

_When the spark has gone, and the candles are out_  
_When the song is done and there's no more sound_  
_Whispers turn to yellin and I'm thinkin_

_How did we get so mean?_  
_How do we just move on?_  
_How do you feel in the morning when it comes and everything's undone?_  
_Is it cause we wanna be free? Well that's not me_  
_Normally I'm so strong_  
_I just can't wake up on the floor like a thousand times before_  
_Knowing that forever won't be_

_Always sentimental when I think of how it was_  
_When love was sweet and new and we just couldn't get enough_  
_The shower, it reminds me you'd undress me with your eyes_  
_And now you never touch me and you tell me that you're tired_

_You know, I get so sad when it all goes bad_  
_And all you think about is all the fun you had_  
_And all those sorries ain't never gonna mean a thing, oh_

_How did we get so mean?_  
_How do we just move on?_  
_How do you feel in the morning when it comes and everything's undone?_  
_Is it cause we wanna be free? Well that's not me_  
_Normally I'm so strong_  
_I just can't wake up on the floor like a thousand times before_  
_Knowing that forever won't be_

_Oh, we said some things that we can never take back_  
_It's like a train wreck tryin hit the right track_  
_We opened up the wine and we just let it breathe,_  
_But we shoulda drank it down while it was still sweet_  
_It all goes bad eventually_

_Now do we stay together cause we're scared to be alone?_  
_We got so used to this abuse, it kind of feels like home_  
_But, my baby, I just really wanna know, oh,_

_How did we get so mean?_  
_How do we just move on?_  
_How do you feel in the morning when it comes and everything's undone?_  
_Is it cause we wanna be free? Well that's not me_  
_Normally I'm so strong_  
_I just can't wake up on the floor like a thousand times before_  
_Knowing that forever won't be_

**_Pink- Mean_**

Her voice filled the clubhouse, and everybody stared, their mouths dropping open. She turned around finally noticing the crowd. She pulled the headphones from her ears grinning. "Having fun?"

"You know I love listening to you sing." Kozik spoke first moving to pull her into his arms. "How did you sleep?"

Mac's mind wandered to the hours that were full of not sleeping. She looked up and saw her brother staring at her. "Good." He smiled as he moved to the coffee pot.

"Good, do you want to look for an apartment or are you good at Jax's for a while?" He knew they had been fighting when they left the night before.

"I'm good at Jax's."

The door swung open and Clay walked in, Jax a couple steps behind him. "Chapel. Now." Kozik smiled moving to follow the guys, she smiled back, putting her head phones back in, and turning the music up. This time she tried not to sing as she finished cleaning the clubhouse.


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN_**

**_Sorry I've been gone so long! Life got crazy, then the holidays. You know how it goes, but I'm back and writing up a storm._**

Mac was sitting on the couch playing on her guitar, humming quietly to herself as she strummed the first song she ever learned. Kozik sat heavily next to her, she looked up and smiled. Her fingers moving on the strings as her hums died off. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You can't bullshit me remember? I'm your little sister. I see through it." Mac told him putting the guitar back in the case.

"We just have a problem, and we don't have good solution." Koz replied. She rolled her eyes at the vague response.

"Anything I can do to help?" Mac asked moving closer to her brother.

"Not unless you know how to move us without the ATF being suspicious." Jax said sitting down on the other side of Mac.

"ATF huh? Well I might be able to help with that."

"What are you talking about darling?" Mac looked up to see Clay standing at the bar.

"I need to know more about what you need to move first. Guns, drugs?"

"We just need to get out of town for a couple days."Clay responded, smiling.

"Cut the shit Clay." Mac stood up walking over to him. "I'm no outsider. Matt patched in after our parents died. I grew up in the Tacoma club house. Tell me what's going on."

"We have some guns we need to move."

"Fine. Book me a show."

"Mac this isn't the time." Koz stood up, walking to his sister.

"Dumb ass. Speakers, at least a dozen of them, you can pack the guns inside, while we are here. Stop on the way, pass off. Even if ATF checks, all they will see are speakers."

"And a pissed off diva." Jax spoke up.

"Kiss my ass. It's a solution, a good one. What did you come up with? Make a diversion? Run?" Mac turned to him, crossing her arms.

"Look."

"No you look." Mac stepped towards him, her hands on her hips. Jax crossed his arms looking down at her. "Screw you Jackson." She pushed past the group of men surrounding her intent on leaving them behind. She just made it to the door. When she heard Jax speak up behind her.

"Already did baby."

Mac stopped her back ramrod straight, she turned around. "Unbelievable." She turned back leaving them in the clubhouse with shouts from her brother. She was sitting outside on the picnic table when Opie walked up.

"Hey."

"You might want to wait to go in there."

Mac winced when they heard a body hit the door. "And why is that?" Opie asked sitting down next to her.

"Your moronic friend, told the entire club we slept together. And I'm pretty sure." She paused as they hear what appears to be a chair hit the door. "That Matt is kicking the shit out of him now." She smiled up at Opie. "How are the kids?"

"Good." Opie looked at her questioningly.

"Matt and I talk. Lyla?"

"She's good, just planning the wedding."

"Fantastic, tell her to call me if she needs help."

"I will. So you and Jax huh?"

"Yes, and I didn't expect him to ever talk about it. Ever." Mac sighed lighting another cigarette. She handed the pack to Opie rolling her eyes.

"Yeah well Jax makes a lot of stupid mistakes, when he thinks with his dick." Mac raised her eye brows smiling at him. "I mean. Shit."

Mac laughed her hand resting on his knee. "It's okay, I get it."

"Come one we're leaving."Kozik stormed out, his lip bleeding.

"Matt." Mac stood up, stopping him from walking out to his bike. "Stop. Are you done now? Get it out of your system?"

"I can't believe you aren't more upset. He."

"Stop. I'm a big girl. I slept with me. I also know you had to kick his ass when you found out; it's a big brother thing. But you can't leave. Come on." She pulled him back inside, Opie trailing behind them.

Jax sat at the bar, a beer bottle held up to his eye, blood trickling from his nose and busted lip. She sighed dropping Koz's hand walking behind the bar, pulling out a first aid kit. She sat next to him, pulling his hand down. "You are an ass."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to involve you in this." Mac sighed cleaning up his face.

"Like I told my brother I'm a big girl. Okay, all cleaned up, you'll be fine." Mac walked back outside, picking up her guitar, climbing on the roof.

She sat down, the guitar in her lap, softly playing to herself.

_It doesn't matter what I want_  
_It doesn't matter what I need_  
_It doesn't matter if I cry_  
_Don't matter if I bleed_  
_You've been on a road_  
_Don't know where it goes or where it leads_

_It doesn't matter what I want_  
_It doesn't matter what I need_  
_If you've made up your mind to go_  
_I won't beg you to stay_  
_You've been in a cage_  
_Throw you to the wind you fly away_

_It doesn't matter what I want_  
_It doesn't matter what I need_  
_It doesn't matter if I cry_  
_Doesn't matter if I bleed_  
_Feel the sting of tears_  
_Falling on this face you've loved for years_

_It doesn't matter- Alison Krauss_

She heard him come up as she was playing, but her eyes were closed. When the song was over she smiled at him.

"You okay?"

"Your brother has a mean right cross."

"I know." Mac put the guitar down, leaning against Jax's chest. "But it's your own fault."

"Yeah yeah." Jax laughed pulling her tighter against his chest.


	5. Chapter 5

Mac was fitting the final speaker back together when the door burst open and several agents walked in. She stood up, her hands settling on her hips. "Can I help you?"

"Looking for Clay Morrow or Jackson Teller." The man answered, looking down his nose.

"He's not here. None of them are. The garage is closed and they are on a charity run." Mac nodded to the guys who had helped her. "We are about to load up for my show in Portland."

"Show?" The woman asked walking around looking. "I'm Agent Ansley."

"Mac, and yes my show I have a concert at an event, we were just checking our equipment before we loaded up. These are my roadies." Mac told them, glad the new prospects didn't have their cuts on. The agents nodded still looking around. "Since the guys aren't here, and you don't have a warrant, why don't you leave so I can get on the road?"

"Fine we will be back." Mac smiled, trying not to roll her eyes as they walked out the door. "Good job guys." She pulled out her cell phone walking outside to pull the van up to the door. "Hey two new agents just came looking."

"They suspect anything?" Jax asked. The other members looked up.

"No. But the guy had wandering eyes." Mac told him.

"Bastard." Mac chuckled getting out of the van.

"Okay we are loading up now. Be there soon." Mac closed the phone slipping in the back pocket. "Okay guys shake a leg."

Mac pulled off the highway, smiling when she saw the line of motorcycles and another van. She pulled to a stop, walking around she opened the back. Kozik watched his sister explain how to take the speakers apart. She walked away not watching the men work. He started to follow but he saw Jax follow her into the line of trees.

"You okay?" Jax questioned, he hand on her waist.

"Yeah I'm fine." Mac smiled putting her hand over Jax's. "You ready to be my bodyguard?"

"Oh yeah." Mac laughed, pulling him back towards the group.


	6. Chapter 6

_**(the song for tonight's update is Kate Voegele, if you haven't heard her, you should totally check her out!)**_

Mac sat in the small green room humming to herself as she waited to go on stage. Jax stood in the doorway watching her. Her back was to him, long hair pulled back in a low ponytail at the base of her neck. He could see the tattoo on her neck, black ink standing out against her pale skin. She shifted rolling her shoulders, the blue shirt rode up her abdomen revealing another tattoo on her back. This one was a crow, Jax moved forward, his finger tracing the design on her hip.

Mac jumped at his touch, she looked over her shoulder relaxing when she saw it was Jax. "Hey I didn't hear you come in." Jax just nodded still looking down. "I was never an Old Lady, I got it for Matt, when he patched in." She lifted up her shirt so he could see the entire tattoo, the crow sat on a Harley. Kozik's name was inked into the exhaust.

"It's nice." Jax responded his hands circling her waist pulling her closer, his lips closed down over hers. Mac sighed into the kiss. "How did I miss all your ink?"

"We had other things on our minds." Mac laughed pulling away. "I will show you."

"Tease." Jax watched her as she stood up, her hands on the hem of the royal blue, filmy top she wore. But before she could show him anything the door swung open and Kozik walked in. She turned with a smile on her face for her older brother. Jax frowned at the interruption, not bothering to stand up.

"Hey they say you have five minutes." Koz told her, eyeing Jax lounging on the couch. Mac nodded, kissing his cheek before winking at Jax. She left the two of them with a decisive click of the door. "She's my baby sister."

" I know." Jax stood up facing Kozik, the two men studied each other. Kozik nodded, jerking his head to the door.

"We should go, Mac would want us to watch her." Jax followed him, Mac was already on stage when they got to the edge of the stage.

_break away from every situation like this one most times baby _

_But since you been round here I've given in, my dear, to your captivation daily_

_I'm not the type who gets voted most likely to be victimized by those old butterflies but_

_You're the exception your love is infectious, and the fever is climbing high_

Mac's voice was clear and strong as she belted out the lyrics, her eyes searching out the blonde heads of her protectors.

_Well I hope you don't mind if I fall asleep on your shoulder_

_Now turn out the lights and let the night begin_

_And I hope it's alright if you're still mine when we're older_

_Cause I wont spend another day wondering what might have been_

_I was so cynical just inconvincible, nobody seemed worth trusting_

_But sure enough just when id near given up you appeared there among the destruction_

Mac looked into the crowd, a man moving towards the stage, his head down caught her eye.

_Now it's official I've lost my initial suspicions and skepticism_

_You got me caving in; feeding the craving, I see now what I've been missing _

_Well I hope you don't mind if I fall asleep on your shoulder_

_Now turn out the lights and let the night begin_

_And I hope it's alright if you're still mine when we're older_

_Cause I wont spend another day wondering what might have been_

She could feel herself start to shake as he moved closer, her voice breaking.

_Got my permission to_

_Break the tradition_

_No limited editions_

_This is a persistent_

_Change of disposition_

_No more inhibitions_

_I don't wanna spend my life wishing_

_Well I hope you don't mind if I fall asleep on your shoulder_

_Now turn out the lights and let the night begin_

_And I hope it's alright if you're still mine when we're older_

_Cause I wont spend another day wondering what might have been_

_**Might have been Kate Voegele**_

The music died out as Mac's eyes wildly searched for Jax or Matt. She didn't see them, her body reacted. She ran off stage, the crowd stunned into silence. Mac was a well known favorite, and she had never run off stage before. She ran into the bathroom, leaning heavily against the door, her breathing erratic.

Jax returned from his phone call to an empty stage, the crowd was protesting. He rushed backstage searching for her. When he knocked on the bathroom door he could hear her whimpering. He pushed the door, it was heavy. He looked around the door and saw her sitting on the floor her back against the door.

Mac looked up when the door pushed her forward, her hands grasping at the floor before she realized it was Jax. She looked up into his blue eyes and she felt the damn break. The tears came fast and hot. Jax picked her up, leaving quickly.

It was hours later when Mac drifted to sleep her fingers loosening their hold on Jax's shirt. He looked down at her dark hair, her eyes looking bruised from the night. Sighing he didn't try to move away, he gathered her closer wanting to never hear the heart breaking sobs come from her again. He wasn't embarrassed by the emotion she had displayed, he wanted to protect her. Kozik parked the van, turning to look at Jax holding his sister.

"We need to get our bikes." Jax nodded not wanting to let go of Mac.

"I'll be okay." Mac spoke up her voice was raw. She sat up, still not letting go of Jax. "But can I ride with you." She looked down horrified at how pathetic she felt she sounded.

Jax's hand lifted her chin, his lips just grazing hers. "I wouldn't have it any other way." Mac held Jax's hand as they walked across the parking lot, she climbed on the bike behind Jax, her arms tightly holding onto him. Her face was pressed into his cut as the flew down the black highway. The familiar scent of leather and tobacco comforted her as she fought sleep.

She thought they would drive straight through so she was surprised when they pulled into a motel in the early morning hours. Jax held Mac tightly as they walked into a room, kicking the door shut. He locked the door, still holding her he moved to the bathroom. She left disconnected as he stripped their clothes, turning on the hot water, the steam billowing into the room. Jax held her under the spray, letting the hot water wash away the day. When the water started to cool he lifted her out, gently toweling off her warmed body. He swung her up bridal style, carrying her to the bed, sliding her into the covers his body curling protectively around her.

Mac's last thoughts before the blackness overtook was how tender Jax was being. Jax felt her breathing slow and even out, his own eyes drifting closed.


	7. Chapter 7

After that night Mac's panic attacks became less frequent, her singing less important. She had a new family to think about. It was months later when Jax woke up to her singing softly. He walked into the nursery to find her holding JT, sitting on the edge of Abel's bed.

**_May God bless and keep you always,_**

**_May your wishes all come true,_**

**_May you always do for others_**

**_And let others do for you._**

**_May you build a ladder to the stars_**

**_And climb on every rung,_**

**_May you stay forever young,_**

**_May you stay forever young._**

**_May you grow up to be righteous,_**

**_May you grow up to be true,_**

**_May you always know the truth_**

**_And see the lights surrounding you._**

**_May you always be courageous,_**

**_Stand upright and be strong,_**

**_May you stay forever young,_**

**_May you stay forever young._**

**_May your hands always be busy,_**

**_May your feet always be swift,_**

**_May you have a strong foundation_**

**_When the winds of changes shift._**

**_May your heart always be joyful,_**

**_May your song always be sung,_**

**_May you stay forever young,_**

**_May you stay forever young._**

**_Forever Young- Audra Mae_**

Mac slowly stood up putting JT back in his crib, turning to see Jax standing there watching her.

"Hey."

"Hey." Jax kissed her slowly, taking her hand and leading his wife back to their room. They laid in the center of the bed, wrapped up in each other.

"We have a run tomorrow." Mac nodded knowing he would be gone for a couple days.

"Be safe."

"Always. I love you." Jax told her, his eyes searching to make sure she wasn't going to go running.

"I'm not going anywhere Jax. Not ever. I love you, I love our boys." Jax nodded already knowing what she said was true but needing to hear it just the same.

The songbird and the outlaw, it was unusual, but it worked for them.


End file.
